This season on Survivor: 24 TDIFF wikians will be competing on the ancient Social Pyramid in the Pee Pee Ruins for every season of Finale on boxset. There will be strategy, blindsides, rage blogs, tengaged talk, and much more!
Prolouge - "Introductions"Edit
In a land far, far away, a dry and deserted realm called the Pee Pee Ruins stood alone. Tall, piss colored cacti sprouted out of the brown, cracked ground of the land.
The very center of the Pee Pee Ruins marked the location of the great Social Pyramid, one of the many wonders of the wiki world. A jet black helicopter circled the peak of the pyramid, where the host, Avery, stood, proudly waiting to begin broadcasting is show to the world. Eventually, he turned to the camera and smiled.
"Welcome to a very special season of Survivor! We're at the top of the wiki-famous Social Pyramid, in the hot and horny Pee Pee Ruins!" The camera switched to the helicopter, which was still soaring around the pyramid.
Avery opened a trapped door that was beneath his feet, which revealed a staircase leading into the pyramid.
"We're about to enter the ancient social structure, and meet this season's 24 competitors! Let's go!" Avery announced.
The screen faded to black and the theme song played. When the show was back, Avery was standing inside a dimly lit passage where 24 wikians faced him.
"...," Ashley said.
"What's wrong, Ash?" Space said, raising an eyebrow.
Ashley smiled and replied, "Oh nothing! It's just that no one was talking. Sorry :/"
Space nodded. "It's okay, girl!"
"You mean boy," Dra corrected, "Ash is a boy. I have pictures to prove it." He paused. "Just like my nudes of Avery."
SG frowned. "Wow, a Dravery joke. (Nobody goes :O)," he moaned. Seconds later, Bruno gasped and giggled.
"Play nice, my friends!" Zac pleaded, wiggling his finger in a quirky fashion.
"Speaking of Dravery, Dra is probably gonna win the season, becasuse Avery rigs for Dra!!" Bruno said, but no one could tell if he was joking.
"No, I don't," Avery replied firmly, "Now that you've all been acquainted, let's get dow--"
"We already know each other tbh," MrE noted, interrupting the host.
"me when this is already taking 4 minutes," OHF said, munching on a hot dog.
CK caught sight of the hot dog, and he grabbed his stomach. "Give me a bite, hunty. Avery isn't feeding us."
"Yes, because this is Survivor," Avery said, "You're supposed to be surviving."
Dyna shrugged. "Dude, I'm not really feeling this. Speaking of which, did you guys know Whitney Houston died on February 11th? I don't really know how to feel about this."
"wHO CARES," remarked Epic. Dra looked at his watch. "Honestly, Baevery, let's hurry this up. You're hosting slower than Epic and TV Stars is tomorrow."
"hEY!" Epic exclaimed.
"This is SERIOUS!" Avery screamed, "The prize for winning the game is every season of Finale on boxset."
Crickets were heard in the crowd of 24 players. Suddenly, after almost a minute of silence, Dra clapped slowly. "I've been in every season, you know," he said.
"Wow, every season of Finale, huh?" Trey said sarcastically, "Good thing I have a reason to play now. I mean, besides showing off my mad strategic genius."
"Rude!" Zac exclaimed.
"He's tongue in cheek, remember?" Dyna pointed out. "Speaking of which, did you know Taylor Swift's first album was released in 2006? Pretty interesting."
"Maybe I'll rank that tbh," MrE decided.
Nate scoffed, "Taylor Swift is so stupid. At least she stopped doing country. Women can't pull off country." Toad and Jax facepalmed.
"Alright," Avery announced, "That's enough! It's time to pick teams! There will be 6 teams of 4 this season. A nervous intern brought in an upsidown top hat and handed it to Avery.
"In this hat is the name of every contestant here," Avery explained, "I'll pick out four, and those four will be the team captains."
"Ooh, like the Hunger Games!" Mika cheered.
Dylan smirked, "#tbt the Lion Games."
"Stfu before I chop off your dick and feed it to my llama. ~_~" Mika replied.
Avery slowly stuck his hand in the hat, trying to maximize dramatic effect, and finally came out with four slips of paper.
"Dra, Toad, Ashley, Dyna, Sunny, Nate," Avery read off the names. "You're our team captains."
The six chosen competitors took their places next to Avery.
"Wow, I'm a team captain?" Ashley smiled humbly, "I don't know if I deserve it."
"It's funny that Avery has me as a team captain in a season about the Social Pyramid," Toad said lightheartedly.
"Yay, go Zeke!!" Zac cheered.
"Cheer for me too, baby asshole," Nate commanded. Zac frowned and stayed silent.
"Lol, 'baby asshole," Dylan giggled, with OHF soon joining him.
"Alright, Dra," Avery said, "You pick first."
Bruno gasped, "Wow, Dra picks first? #RiggedForDravery." Murmurs of agreement could be heard among the others.
"Can I pick you," Dra asked.
Avery frowned. "No?"
"what no i quit bye," Dra laughed.
"Stop referencing your own characters and pick someone," SG demanded. Several gasps and chuckles were heard.
"I pick Dylan because he'll do what I say," Dra said. Dylan seemed frustrated, but stayed silent.
(Dra Confessional): "I mean, it's true. Dylan is my bitch, and everyone knows it."
(Mika Confessional): "Poor Dyldylbear! Dra is just a motherfucker and a bully. ~_~"
"Toad, you're next," Avery said, guestering towards the Jewish teen.
"That's easy," Toad grinned, "I choose Chef... Kidding! I'm kidding. Bruno."
SG rolled his eyes. "These picks are so predictable. Nobody is going :O right now."
"I pick Mika," Ashley said quickly. Everyone stared at her. "Oh, I thought I was next. Gosh, sorry!"
"It's fine, you are next..." Avery began, but was quickly cut off by Ashley, who began to apologize for being snappy.
"SO YOU PICK ME? K." Mika said assertively, and walked over to Ashley. The two former girls high-fived.
"Your turn, Dyna," Avery said. Dyna closed in his focus on the remaining pool of contestants.
"I mean, I guess I want someone I can rank albums with, so..." Dyna began. Jax stuck his hand in the air and jumped up and down excitedly. "MrE," Dyna said. Jax sighed.
"Cool, I guess. We're apparently best friends, afterall," MrE said. Sunny stepped up. "Alright, I'm next. I guess I'll just pick someone at random."
"In a schoolyard pick, you traditionally pick who you want," Avery advised Sunny.
"What?" Sunny barked, "Avery, this twist is unoriginal and makes no sense. Explain it again if you're going to change the rules suddenly."
"JUST PICK, BITCH," Mika boomed.
"Fine," Sunny said, shutting his eyes. "Eenie, meenie, minie...." He opened his eyes, his finger pointing at Duke.
"Oh! The rivals are teamed together!" Avery exclaimed.
"Duke and I aren't even rivals, lol," replied Sunny. Duke nodded. Nate smiled, "MY TURN. Alright, biches. Whoever's on my tribe has to play Fibbage with me. Agreed?" No one replied.
"Fuck, I pick Liam," he said.
"Oh joy," Liam groaned, walking over to Nate.
"Do you listen to Clean Bandit?" Nate asked his new teammate.
"No," Liam replied flatly, "Do you listen to Azealia Banks?" Nate's eyes shifted nervously. "Didn't think so." Avery shook his head. "Alright... Dra, back to you."
"Well," Dra quickly replied, "It's tough choosing between CK and OHF. I mean, whichever I don't pick will probably be chosen by Toad next. But... we need the fat to keep us warm on the cold nights, so... OHF."
"me when that makes 0 sense but k," OHF shrugged, taking his spot on Dra's team.
"I'll be back bae," CK promised. OHF shed a tear.
(Dra Confessional): "Honestly, splitting up ckoreebs is too fun."
(CK Confessional): "Do I miss OHF? I mean yeah, I guess. But it's mostly just an act. We're not fucking siamese twins, you know." "Alright, Toad, you're up," Avery said.
Toad scanned the remaining pool of contestants carefully. "Reddy, I guess," he finally said.
"Watch out," Mika warned, "Reddy's sooo power hungry. He'll probably ban you all from the tribe. ~_~"
"I don't think that's possible," Toad said, raising on eyebrow.
Just then, Reddy took a slip of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Mika. "If you want me banned, sign the petition."
"I don't have a pen, so no," replied Mika, pushing him away.
"Go ahead, Ash," Toad said cheerfully.
"..." Ashley thought. "I choose Zac! Tbh I don't know how upbeat I can be, and I don't want to lead our tribe into the ground with negative thoughts!"
"Thanks, darling!" Zac giggled, "This tribe will be Zactacular!"
(Epic Confessional): "God, please don't put me on that team. Or on Dra's team. You know what, don't put me on any team. Maybe I should just quit and write more TDEpic!"
"I choose SG. He's a cool dude," Dyna decided.
"Hey, thanks," SG grinned, "Let's rank a Wonder Years album when we get to camp. My treat."
MrE nodded, "That doesn't sound bad, tbh."
(MrE Confessional): "So I guess my gimmick this season is music rankings? That's okay, I guess. I'm glad to stray away from edgic terms. What an age-old thing."
"Yo, what gives? No one wants my strategic expertise?" Trey complained.
Sunny shrugged. "I guess I'll choose you," he said, "You have a good eye. I need someone to make sure the challenges aren't rigged. After all, when Avery hosts, they usually are."
"yEAH, IM THE BEST HOST," Epic said proudly. Dra rolled his eyes. Nate looked around. "Ugh," he whined, "There's no one good left to pick."
"I see," CK said, tapping his foot.
"Meh, I pick CK," Nate sighed.
CK shook his head. "lol no."
"You mean you aren't letting me pick you? What the fuck!?" Nate snapped.
"Rough life," CK remarked.
"Fine," Nate said, "I pick Chef. For comic relief."
(Liam Confessional): "My team sucks."
Chef silently walked over to Nate and stood next to him.
(Toad Confessional): "Why isn't Chef saying anything? He hasn't called anyone medusa-like or a troll with stinky feet yet. That's the only reason I wanted him in this season."
(Chef Confessional): "I know I'm being silent. It's part of my strategy. I'm roleplaying as Amy, a character from my fan fiction. She is labeled the silent type, but is also athletic and very powerful."
"Pick CK," OHF pleaded. Dra nodded and pointed to CK.
"Thanks," CK said.
OHF turned to his friend. "You realize if there was an Asian girl here, I would have suggested for Dra to pick her over you," he said.
"That's why ur my favorite," CK smiled. Toad bit his lip. "You know, I don't know. I guess I'll pick Epic. He's a strong player, I think."
"tHANKS, bAE," Epic said, smirking.
Reddy rolled his eyes. "Okay, you're going to have to stop talking like that."
"Oh, shade," Dylan murmured.
Ashley glanced at JER, Ben, Space, and Jax, the four remaining contestants to choose from.
"Wow, I really have the pick of the lot here, don't I? :/" she sighed.
Jax's eyes widened. "Why you gotta be so rude? Don't you know I'm human, too?"
"It's 2015. I'm praying that song will be outdated soon," Toad complained.
"It is outdated," SG corrected.
Ashley was turning red. "Sorry! Too far, I guess? I pick JER! We talk sometimes!"
(Ashley Confessional): "I'm such a bad team captain. :/ I don't talk to anyone, so it's hard choosing people. I'm pretty confident with my choice in JER, though. I mean, it's not like anyone else was going to choose him. Sorry!"
"Thank you, Ashley," JER said, walking over to his new tribe.
Dyna shrugged. "I would pick Ben or Space, but Jax clearly is dying to be picked. Calm down, dude, I'm going to do it."
"Thanks," Jax replied, "It's about time."
"Speaking of which," Dyna added, "I just read that Transformers: Age of Extinction was the highest grossing movie of 2014. Did anyone actually see that?"
"I did," said Epic, raising his hand, "Yay for a social life."
"Alright," Sunny jumped in, "It's my turn. I pick Spa--"
"Come on, Sun," Trey interrupted, "Don't be a douche. Pick Ben. He's a funny guy."
Space smiled modestly. "Go ahead, Sun! I don't mind being picked last!"
Sunny shrugged, not seeming to care. "Okay, Ben it is." However, he didn't seem to be listening, but was scrolling on his phone. "Ben?" Sunny repeated.
Ben looked up from his phone. "Oh, sorry. I was vigorously reblogging on Tumblr."
"Does that mean we get Space by default?" Nate asked, "Kind of unfair, but w/e."
"At least you fucking get a tribe member ~_~" Mika snapped.
(Dylan Confessional): "I hope Mika vs. Nate is a recurring thing. It throws the target off my back, plus it's hilarious to watch. I actually have a folder on my computer of PMs between the two. Don't ask how I got them. Lol."
"Alright, team!" Space cheered. He stuck his hand out to high-five, but no one except Chef high-fived back.
"I'm livid right now," Liam grumbled, his arms crossed.
"Why hunty," CK asked, "At least you're not on a team with Dra." Dra glanced at CK and frowned. "You know I'm kidding," CK assured him.
(Confessional CK): "#StopBullying2015. Like, it's such a priority."
Avery, who hadn't spoken for some time, stepped back in front of the camera. "Alright, with that, we have our tribes! In the next episode, the contestants will be getting to their first challenge!"
"Wait, that's an episode?" Sunny questioned, "We just picked teams."
"Yeah, this is kind of lame," Trey agreed.
Avery cried and the camera went black.
Chapter 1 - " ??? "Edit
Booka Tribe ~Day 1~
"Why are we called Booka, again?" OHF asked as he entered his new camp.
"Because Dra is the team captain," CK replied, "Plus, he'll attack anyone who doesn't voluntarily support TV Stars."
Dra nodded. "Yeah, that's right," he said, "By the way, Dylan, can you hide these Avery nudes for me?" He handed Dylan an envelope, and he walked away.
(Dylan Confessional): "Should I bury the nudes or throw them in a river? I'm letting America decide lol."
The Postmodernists Tribe ~Day 1~
Toad entered his new camp humming the Postmodern Jukebox version of Uptown Funk, while his other tribe members followed.
"This camp is gross! I'm quitting good job Toad!" Bruno joked. Toad grinned awkwardly.
"So," Toad said, pulling out a paper, "Take a look at this."
Everyone gathered around and looked at a piece of paper with 20 cut out faces glued in a circle. Multiple colored lines connected the faces, making a tangled web.
"Um... what is this?" Epic asked confusedly.
"It's a relationship diagram of the book club I just joined," Toad said proudly.
Reddy pointed to Toad's face on the diagram. "Why are there so many red lines branching off from you?" he asked.
"Red means 'crushing on,' Toad explained. Reddy shrugged.
Ash Is King Tribe ~Day 1~
Ashley, Zac, JER, and Mika all entered their camp. Every one was smiling, except JER, who seemed focused on something.
"Wow, Zac," Ashley said, "Thanks for the tribe name, but I don't know if I can live up to it... :/"
Zac smiled warmly. "No worries, Ash! We'll all be here for you!"
"Speak for yourself. ~_~" Mika grunted, and walked into the woods.
(Zac Confessional): "Don't let be your eyes be decieved, friends! I am a force to be reckoned with! If we lose the challenge, my target is Mika! What a Negative Nelly!"
Ghettomusick Tribe ~Day 1~
"What the heck, Dyna? Our tribe name is gross," Jax complained as his tribe arrived at camp.
SG rolled his eyes. "What would you have named it?" he said, "Britney's Bitches?"
"I think that's catchy," Jax argued.
"Tbh, you've been really MORN this entire game, SG," MrE said. "Oh, I guess no one wants to hear edgic terms."
"Dude, just don't worry about it," Dyna assured his friend."
(Jax Confessional): "Literally I hate this tribe. Induvidually, Dyna, SG, and MrE are cool, but this tribe is turning out to be a snarkfest."