Join me as I rank contestants, episodes, songs, and -- wait, probably only contestants, way too lazy for anything else.
*insert disclaimer about how these are my opinions and anyone who disagrees can either have an arguing match with me on chat (to which I'll probably get bored by and end up hiding in PM) or make their own rankings*
#52: Zoey - Zoey is, bar none, my least favorite Total Drama character. She pretty much makes TDWT Duncan look like a saint. But, uh... where do we even start with this pathetic excuse for a character? So, when TDROTI started I thought she might have had some potential because her stereotype was semi-interesting. That was then completely thrown out the window when, in the course of her TWO seasons, she mentioned ONE thing that had ANYTHING to do with being an "Indie Chick", and believe me that's the least of my concerns. First of all, she has no personality at all, she's literally a satellite character who does nothing but leech onto Mike and is basically a living plot device. All her plot was in TDROTI was "Save me, Mike!!!!!!!", and in my rewatch of ROTI, I discovered that she was even more annoying that I remembered - she didn't do anything in the first five episodes at all except bitch about Anne Maria and Vito and think that she had the right to Mike and not Anne Maria even though they weren't even dating, and then Mike got voted out and she turned into an Izzy clone, decent but still not enough to propel her any higher. It also shows that the writers don't have much originality (but did they ever?). And then another annoying thing about her: another part of her journey in ROTI was "I was so lonely as a child omg I want friends please feel sorry for me!!!" but that was abandoned after the first episode, and any time someone tried to become her friend she acted obnoxiously snobby and was creeped out by them. As demonstrated by her interactions with Dakota and Dawn. (Though to be fair, Dakota was a giant monster.) It was pretty obnoxious and didn't really make me feel sorry for her...
But her in ROTI was amazing compared to what we got in All-Stars. While I thought she was a Mary Sue in ROTI, it was nowhere near as bad as it was in AS, because she's actually shown glaring traits of being a Sue this past season and it pissed me off. For instance, knowing how to jump up to the top of trees and winning like four challenges in a row. God Mode Sue at her finest. She was pretty UTR the first few episodes which gave me hope, but then displayed some of the aforementioned Sue traits... then she was the only post-Action person to get an INV. That's right, the writers love her so much that they decided to not make her talk at all in an episode. But of course, she became pretty unbearable later on in the season... where do we start? First of all, I wouldn't even mind the Zoey/Mal plot that much if it was just one of a few plots, but it got shoved in our faces. (More on that when we get to Mike, though, which should be pretty soon.) All this time, Zoey was presented TONS of glaring evidence that Mike was actually Mal, but this entire time she was just like "omg Mike is kinda acting funny i wonder why!!!!!! im kinda suspicious of him......" and literally found out he was Mal in the PENULTIMATE episode. And when she does figure out it's Mal, she SAVES HIM SO SHE CAN BRING HIM TO THE FINAL TWO? Are you kidding me? Lindsay is suddenly seeming pretty smart. And by that point every other semblance of a plot had been thrown out the window, (rip Courtney) so we were treated to all Mal and Zoey, all the time. There's also the fact that she won like four challenges in the merge. For absolutely no reason. At least with Sky for instance, who has been compared to Zoey, she wins challenges and shit because her label is THE ATHLETE. Zoey wins them for NO REASON AT ALL. She's the biggest godplayer in the TD series (except B, but that led to his downfall basically) and it's just another annoying aspect of her (lack of a) personality. Also, there's the fact that she's the obvious writers' pet. Everyone on the staff loves her even though she's done absolutely nothing, and it's just so obnoxious how the writers love her. She was in EVERY EPISODE FOR TWO WHOLE FUCKING SEASONS. I need a Zoey break. That's the main reason I hate her more than Mike, because at least Mike left in ROTI a bit earlier before screenhogging it up the next season, and he wasn't even that horrible in ROTI because at least Chester and Vito were very entertaining and Zoey was never entertaining. And she has her hardcore fans, too, who seem to be much more defensive than other fans... but when asked why they like her, all they say is that she's "nice" or that her design is pretty (dumb reason to like a character, really) or that she's a f.ierce g.oddess or whatever. She also adds absolutely nothing to the show in terms of humor, and humor is the main reason I watch this show anyway. I don't think Zoey has had a single funny moment? I mean, if Zoey was booted in like episode 8 or something I wouldn't have as much of a problem with her, but she made it to the final two. And WON. (in some countries) Two ROTI characters, aka the two blandest of the bland, in the final two of an All-Star season. The absence of Courtney is kind of ridiculous. Or really, the absence of literally anyone else in the whole season. Zoey and her awful, contrived plot with Mal, along with Mal/Mike himself, are the reasons Total Drama All-Stars was such a bad season (and Ed MacDonald, screw you Ed MacDonald /prestoncondra) and plus her voice is fucking atrocious. When she screams... god, why? I could write even more about her but I'm tired and really not in the mood. So yeah, Zoey sucks. That's it.
#51: Mike - Okay, so while I don't personally despise Mike as much as I do Zoey, I can acknowledge that Mike is not a good character whatsoever and he's even slightly offensive, and that's why he's this low. So, Zoey is my least favorite, but Mike (at least, only in AS) is the worst. First of all, labeling him literally as a disorder is just questionable. Picture a character labeled as "The Cancer" or "The Depression", it's basically signifying that that is the only part of his personality and it's like all of him. Which it is, since normal Mike has absolutely no personality. But they really should've known that even though it wasn't executed that badly or offensively in ROTI, dissociative identity disorder is a touchy subject in the first place (really, all mental disorders in cartoons are bound to cause some controversy) and I think it would've been best to give him a different label or something. But, I mean, some of his personalities are entertaining, but normal Mike is seriously just as boring as Zoey. So, about Mike... In ROTI he was exceptionally OTTP, and his godplaying (usually with the use of Svetlana) was pretty annoying. However, Chester and Vito were actually stars, and they were surprisingly funny whenever they came up. I remembered hating the Vito/Anne Maria romance but now I'll take it over Zoke ANY day. Vito was really just a good foil for Mike. (way better than Mal.) His personalities provided a bit of comic relief but Mike was basically the most focused-on character in TDROTI, so when he left it kind of made a void, which the writers should have really prepared for instead of just making Zoey... yeah. I like how they handled his controlling of his MPD at the end of ROTI, though, since that's actually a BIT more realistic (as far as I know, disorders can definitely be controlled. Not that the brain scenes are going to happen in real life but like what else are they going to do. See, it would've been better if they didn't make this character in the first place) as opposed to the bullshit we got in AS. Speaking of Zoey, my complaint of her being a living plot device is also there with Mike.
Now, we get to All-Stars, and it was obvious Mike was coming back so I wasn't really that pissed about it. Ever since his elimination in ROTI we were treated to a split second silhouette of a shadowy Mike, and his VA also alluded to it in an interview, so everyone was thinking that there'd be a new personality of Mike's to come out and cause chaos. And they were right. I mean, it was a pretty decent idea for a plot to be honest, just executed EXTREMELY poorly. First of all, the Duncan-knowing-Mal thing seemed to be leading up to something cool, but Duncan just said it once in a confessional and then... was booted? One of TDAS's many frustrating plot holes. And for most of it, Mal didn't even really do anything that bad, he just broke stuff. He started to become a little more okay (still not good, though) in the final episodes but he still godplayed to all hell (almost to a Zoey level. His arms are sticks. He should not be able to control Alejandro like that.) and by then everyone knew Zoey and Mike would defeat him with the power of love and blah blah blah and it was just painfully obvious, the plot of Zoey not knowing about Mal dragged on forever. They were also the ONLY plot of TDAS and extreme screenhogs. If there were other plots with other characters going on, I wouldn't mind AS much, but TDAS was basically the Zoke show post-merge with occasional appearances by far superior characters like Scott, Courtney, and Alejandro. And Mike just isn't that great of a winner (that's an understatement, he's an awful winner). Let's not even get me started on how Mal was defeated (most anticlimactic end to anything ever) and the reset button. Okay, now I'll go through my thoughts about this issue:
- It was not executed well. While I don't have a disorder, I can see how that could be an inconsiderate thing to do to people who have actual disorders. Yeah, DID is very, VERY rare, but people with other disorders or mental health issues like depression or whatever could definitely take that personally.
- However, it could also be far worse. This moment sucked, but a few things - first of all, even with the reset button at the end, Mike was not a negative stereotype of DID. He wasn't extremely violent or angry or other negative stereotypes of people with mental health issues. And while it's not entirely excusable just because it's a cartoon, I mean... it's a cartoon, so I didn't expect some deep, psychological plot about that. Should the reset button have happened? Absolutely not. But people who are thinking that it's the absolute worst thing that's ever happened in a TV show and who think the TD writers are the spawn of Satan for doing this just don't really see that it could definitely be worse and it's really not the end of the world.
But, no matter what, the ending scene was also just lazy by the writers. And then the fact that he got all of their powers? Oh, yeah, let's make Mike a perfect Stu now to compliment his Mary Sue girlfriend. Overall, Mike is just a gimmick, who may be offensive to some people, and who screenhogged during the entirety of Total Drama All-Stars and since so many characters who I happened to hate/dislike got at least a tiny bit better in my eyes in the season, he's second to last. Even though I didn't mind Mike in ROTI because he was slightly entertaining with the Vito plot (don't get me wrong, Normal Mike was EXTREMELY boring though, like as bad as Zoey) and didn't stay WAY past his welcome, that's the only reason he's above Zoey because him in AS is seriously abhorrent and potentially the worst execution of a character in the series.
I'll end this with a mini-ranking of his personalities:
Chester = Vito >>>>>> Manitoba > Svetlana (really she's just a tool to help Mike godplay even more than he already does) > Mal (such a letdown)
#50: B - This is where a bunch of characters who I mildly dislike/am annoyed by get lumped together, because thanks to Duncan improving heavily in TDAS, there's really nobody whom I dislike nearly as much as Mike and Zoey. So anyway, B had the potential to be a good character if they gave him some backstory or anything, but all he did was godplay for like three episodes and get eliminated for it, all while not saying a single word, so I can't say he was the most remarkable or well-developed character.
#49: Sugar - Okay, I don’t despise Sugar, but she definitely got on my nerves throughout TDPI. She started off as just a mildly okay character (but I didn't really like her all that much because she was just a pop culture reference to a shitty show), but her gimmick got VERY old after a while and she overstayed her welcome by way too much. There were much better characters who could’ve made the final three (like, maybe Scarlett, so she could have more than a single episode as the antagonist? Or Jasmine? Or… really anyone else?) but Sugar was just there, and all she even did for the last few episodes was lame toilet humor, too. Now, I will readily admit that toilet humor occasionally has the potential to be funny, but hers wasn’t. I always say this but she’s basically TDI Owen minus all of Owen’s redeeming qualities. Her fart at the end of Jasmine’s elimination episode was completely unnecessary, forced, and gross. However, I will also admit that she was pretty funny at the end of her boot episode, and I absolutely loved the craptry scene. But she was also randomly a huge bitch to people like Topher (in the very first minute of the first episode, completely randomly) and Ella most of all, like I don’t mind when characters are bitchy about other characters, it’s actually entertaining a lot of the time, but she was just petty and childish and the way that she eliminated Ella was really infuriating, especially since Ella was a much better character. Overall, Sugar wasn’t necessarily a season-ruiner and she wasn’t nearly as atrocious as a Mike, Zoey, or TDWT Duncan, but she was annoying, overstayed her welcome, and didn’t really contribute anything spectacular to the season, so that puts her this low.
#48: Amy - Remember when everyone thought Samey would be fodder who got eliminated early thanks to her sister (while the exact opposite happened <3), and Amy was going to be the main villain of the season? Yeah… well, that didn’t really happen. I wouldn’t even call Amy a villain honestly, just a really, really horrible and malicious person. While it was needed just to show how awful she was to her sister and to make Samey/Sammy/whatever a more sympathetic character, she was sometimes just so scary that it was really uncomfortable to watch, with her attempts to kill Samey and all. I thought she had absolutely no redeeming qualities and it was really hard to love to hate her, it was hard to do anything else other than just hate her. Her voice… eeeugh, that just made it even worse. So whiny. But yeah, Amy didn’t really even seem like a character, just a plot device for Samey, and while I appreciate her role in Samey’s storyline, I think she’s an extremely unpleasant character by herself and I think her exit worked. I just wish that she didn’t come back in episode 5 because I thought the plot was ended perfectly fine in episode 3. It just seemed to negate everything great about Samey taking Amy out, and it made what was an awesome plotline kind of unsatisfying. But overall Amy was just kinda scary and had no redeeming qualities.
#47/46: Katie and Sadie - Katie and Sadie are this low for a number of reasons. First of all, they were pretty obnoxious in TDI, because when they weren't INV (seriously, they had basically NO lines in any episodes except their boot episodes/the premiere) they were annoying. And also, Sadie could have become a good character and could've grown on her own once Katie left, but... nope. She became a living prop. She didn't say a single word from Up The Creek until her boot, which is really just annoying. The two definitely have potential, they just need to be split up, maybe if one of them was brought back for another season without the other they would actually grow as characters. It's a pity they didn't do that for TDA or TDWT, but whatever, they're not really all that interesting anyway and they were basically just one-time characters. The "friendship" thing got very old after a while and was easily replicated with Lindsay and Beth (both characters who had plots outside of being BFFFLs) the next season anyway.
#45: Sky - If you know me well, you know of my hatred of Zoey. And Sky and Zoey have been compared constantly and they don’t really have too many similarities, first being that I don't despise Sky at all. First let’s start off with what I like about her. I like that she’s competitive and doesn’t give a shit about guys and would rather focus on the competition, but leading Dave on was kind of sad to watch. (Being led on is not a fun thing.) But then, there’s also things about her that I dislike, obviously - “The Athlete” is not really the most exciting label around, so I didn’t expect her to be some astounding character with tons of hidden depths, but I really just can’t seem to find many interesting things about Sky’s personality. Okay, she’s “nice”, yeah. But as Zoey has proven, I really don’t look for characters who don’t have much to offer outside of being “nice.” I do really like that she isn’t a Sue who can do no wrong and who everyone loves like Zoey, though, she has shown to have flaws (when she snaps at people and her burping) which make her a much more realistic character, and the fact that she’s an actual athlete rather than an “indie chick” who can jump across treetops and win three challenges in a row for no apparent reason is a plus. Godplaying isn’t fun. And then I guess I have to address the Keith thing: I don’t think she’s a “whore” or anything for being attracted to Dave while having a boyfriend at home. I think it’s actually a pretty realistic scenario, because it’s a scenario I personally know full well. So really, the only reasons I’m not the hugest fan of Sky are because she’s just EXTREMELY boring (Nalyd said this in one of his blogs which I agree with: she's just supposed to be the generic female heroine and I really wasn't a fan of that because they had another, MUCH better, MUCH more rootable female heroine in Jasmine, who actually had a personality) and not the type of character I like at all, but I don’t dislike her because she had some good moments, and she’s definitely not even close to being as bad as Zoey is. I also do not like her voice, but eh, whatever.
#44: Dave - Dave is… a really, really bizarre character. I don’t exactly know what to think about him, and my opinions of him change constantly, but I guess this is where he is for now. I feel like he started out pretty decently, his fear of germs and his panic attacks were actually handled pretty well, so I give the TD producers props for that. I thought he was an okay (albeit a little bit whiny) straight man at the beginning especially compared to the rest of his team, but then he kind of just became creepy with his fixation on Sky. I’m not the biggest Sky fan either, don’t get me wrong (she will be appearing very soon) but I just thought it was a bit unhealthy and it got obnoxious after a while that he wouldn’t take no for an answer from her. He was… really weird in his boot episode, what with his tantrums and everything, and I just wasn’t left with a good impression of him, especially in the finale where he was just really not fun to watch. I kind of felt bad when he was left on the island to be mauled by a bear, and when he became the token bald contestant, but… I just really don’t know how to feel about Dave. He’s a kind of polarizing and odd character, and also really uncomfortable to watch. I think his label being “The Normal Guy” and him being anything but normal was kind of interesting, though.
#43: Cameron - Okay, listen. This is going to be an unpopular opinion but I don’t despise Cameron. I don’t even dislike him that much. I get that he gets tons and tons of hate for being associated with Mike and Zoey (who are like the two worst possible characters to be associated with, I’ll admit) and for being a forced underdog, and also for having “a really ugly design”...? Okay? Max’s design is really weird and creepy but he’s pretty much beloved. (Not that I dislike Max, he will not be appearing for a VERY long time in this ranking, but since when did people judge characters by aesthetic appeal?) But yeah, Cameron isn’t really as bad as people make him out to be. By no means is he a really funny, awesome, and interesting character who delivers every time he pops up on screen, but he’s not the spawn of Satan either. In ROTI, which he wasn’t too great in, he was basically just a really weak nerdy guy. And I like the nerd archetype, usually, but since it was repeatedly hammered into our heads that he was weak and nerdy and never going to survive or anything, his underdog win actually became pretty obvious. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t a BAD winner, but the way that they brought about his win was annoying, if that makes sense. When he returned for All-Stars I was expecting him to be a very early out, and… well, he wasn’t. At all. The magical and extremely talented writer known as Ed MacDonald had a random boner for Cameron so he was saved like twice in Edpisodes before he finally got eliminated like more than halfway into the season. Now, I can’t hate TDAS Cameron since he was such a low-vis and inoffensive presence, he was really really UTR the whole time so I didn’t even care all that much, especially when abhorrent characters such as Zoke were hogging up all the screentime at the same time. Cameron also gets a lot of hate because him kissing Courtney was “sexual harassment” (I think this originated from SJWs on tumblr) and… what? Okay, even if it is, Heather did the exact same thing with Trent in the very first season and nobody gave a shit? It was a stupid scene, yeah, but hate it for being stupid and ruining a good relationship in Scottney rather than it being “sexual harassment.” Also I don’t remember much about ROTI but I don’t think Cameron “took advantage” of Mike’s disorder, it was shown to us that Cameron was just really sheltered and naive and was interested in it scientifically, he certainly isn’t a malicious character or the Antichrist who some people in the fandom make him out to be. I’ve seen people who think that Cameron is worse than ZOEY, which is just… what the actual hell? But yeah, Cameron is just a mediocre character who didn’t really ruin either of the seasons he was in, but was annoyingly forced in ROTI and stayed past his welcome in AS, plus he was part of the Terrible Trio, so I don’t really LIKE him. At least he has a personality though, and some actually defined character traits other than just a disorder or being able to scale treetops and win like three challenges in a row for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
#42: Staci - Staci is a g.oddess most high, the most attractive character in all of Total Drama, and her voice is one of the most beautiful things to ever tickle my eardrums, but there's no denying that she's an extremely flat character, she only competed in one episode and didn't really say or do anything other than ramble on about her family over and over. She was pretty funny in her one episode, ja, but she's a character who didn't have any room for development (unlike our other one-episode wonder) and was created to be the first boot and nothing else. She's pretty much the Canberra of Animal Crossing, aka someone who is worshiped, but ironically, which is fine with me. And here we get into characters who I lean towards liking!
#41: Beth - This one will probably be pretty short, since I really don't remember much about Action and I need to rewatch it, so she may move up or down depending on how much I like her. But really, Beth is a weird character. She was pretty much a nothing in TDI, only used as a third member of Heather's alliance pretty much, until the tiki idol plot. I really don't get why they didn't eliminate her in Paintball Deer Hunter, which was like the only episode she was actually really good in, and they chose to eliminate her in the next episode where she was pretty much just UTRN when they could have kept Cody for another episode since he still definitely had some plot. She was definitely a very random choice to bring back for Action, and an even more random choice to get to the final 2 - but I appreciate that they took a kinda underdeveloped character and made her win while giving her some development. However, I do remember her being pretty annoying with the whole Brady thing and just in general, so this is where she lands for now, but it may very well change. Also, she's really nothing like Zoey, because Beth is an actually awkward character in both appearance and personality, she has many faults and is not a Mary Sue, and she's not "pretty", and all of those traits make her a much more realistic and believable character.
#40: Trent - It kinda pains me to do this, since I actually really liked Trent in TDI, he was a cool character and a pretty enjoyable "straight man." I liked his relationship with Gwen, as plothole-y as it was, and I just thought he was interesting. Sure, he was probably a Stu, but since he wasn't really in focus much I wasn't bothered by it at all. Then in TDA, his character really crashed and burned, they definitely made Trent a much more uncomfortable and kind of even tragic character. While I think his plot is extremely interesting, with his mental breakdowns after breaking up with Gwen and his OCD, it just felt kind of weird and his character really hasn't been the same ever since. Trent isn't really meant to be a main character, kind of a satellite character, which is fine. I kinda like him though.
#39: Blaineley - I like Blaineley a lot in the Aftermaths, and in the Celebrity Manhunt special, but I'm really only ranking her appearance a contestant, otherwise I'd be ranking people like Chris and Chef too. In terms of being a contestant, she pretty much did nothing, I enjoyed her alliance with Chef but really I don't see what the purpose in bringing her in to compete was, considering she was only in two episodes and had absolutely no significance on the season. I mean, she's a good character and all, but everything she does can easily be used with other characters, like it's not like there's a shortage of bitchy, fame-obsessed females on the show. I loved her cameo in the TDAS exclusive clip though, because it was really random and funny and proved she wasn't dead. So, I like Blaineley, but I don't even really consider her much of a contestant and so it wouldn't feel right putting her any higher than this.
#38: Leonard - Okay, so, I really, really liked Leonard pre-show. I thought he was going to be awesome when I saw his audition tape, and I thought his jokes were going to be great. In his only two episodes, I still liked him for sure, but I didn’t LOVE him - mostly because I wish they had portrayed him as sometimes being in touch with the real world like he was in his audition tape, rather than a delusional weirdo who actually thinks he has wizard powers. But he definitely provided some laughs, and I was sad to see him go so early, but I also thought he made a pretty good early boot and delivered in his short stay.
#37: Topher - Topher is a character who didn’t even really seem like a contestant, much like Blaineley. Nonetheless, I definitely enjoyed him. Basically, his whole schtick of sucking up to Chris but then revealing he was just doing it to get Chris’s job was really entertaining and a very unique plotline for Total Drama. Remember when everyone thought he’d be similar to Sierra pre-season? Yeah, no. I thought he was really entertaining… when he was actually doing stuff. See, the one huge, glaring problem with Topher that prevents me from putting him higher is that he just didn’t interact with his team, like, at all. Talking to Jasmine in the cave was the first time he even talked to anyone other than Chris, if I remember correctly. I just felt like there was a lot of potential for him to annoy his teammates with his Chris-esque ways, and I thought that that part of him was a bit wasted. But yeah, overall he was a good, unique character, and I loved when he said shit like "I'll bring my face!" in that confessional. Fespite not feeling like he was even competing and instead just in his own storyline with Chris (he could’ve been an intern and the storyline would be the same) I can say that I enjoyed his time on the show, despite the flaws.
#36: Beardo - Beardo is a character with tons and tons of potential. At first, when I saw him in the leaked storyboard, I figured he'd just be some gag like Staci or something, then in the one episode he was in, I pretty much grew to love him. I think the sound effect gimmick is EXTREMELY versatile and there was so much potential there, add that to the fact that he actually had some backstory as shown in his audition tape (being shy and eventually warming up to people could’ve EASILY been incorporated, even if he had lasted just a couple more episodes) rather than just being a completely silent, blank character like B, who he really shouldn’t be compared to, so those are pluses. And ranking him this high isn’t just because of the potential he had, I thought he was really funny in the one episode he appeared, with stuff like his beatboxing and running in slow-motion, and especially the Pac-Man noise when he was eliminated. I also love that he’s based on Reggie Watts, his character design is really cool. Overall, I love Beardo as a character and think he could be brought back for another season and expanded on, but he was only in one episode so I can’t really drag him any farther. I do love how they constantly referenced him and Leonard after his elimination, though. The Beardo beatbox CD <3
#35: Eva - Speaking of characters with massive amounts of potential, it's Eva! I actually thought Eva was hilarious in the few episodes she was in, such as when she was raging over her MP3 player, acting pretty much disinterested in everything, and especially her glorious 1-episode return, where she had one of the greatest OTTNNs I've ever seen. I also loved her in the Playa Des Losers episode and in the special, where she teamed up with two characters I enjoy very, very much. I just really wish Eva had returned in World Tour, because if there's any character who needed development, it's her. (And Zeke, but we all know how that turned out.) I would've loved it if she replaced Bridgette or Leshawna or somebody, but now with the introduction of Jo, I think Eva is pretty much an obsolete character, which is sad. They're not even all that much alike, I mean, both are athletic, intimidating females, but that's about it. But overall, Eva is a hilarious character and she's consistently entertained me, even in the Aftermaths, and if they bring her back I know she'll vault up near the top of my list.
#34: Geoff - I was a huge fan of Geoff in TDI, I liked his plot with Bridgette a lot and I think he had some awesome interactions with characters like Duncan/DJ/etc., and I can't forget his friendship with Gwen because that was amazing. He was just a really likable character, then TDA and TDWT came along and I basically forgot about him. I rarely watch the Aftermaths, I think I've seen each of them once ever, but Geoff being a dick in Action was just kinda weird and unlike him. I appreciate the plot, but at that point he had just turned kind of into a mini-Chris. He was pretty fun and back to normal in World Tour, mostly thanks to singing Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley, which is a pretty amazing song. His relationship with Bridgette is pretty much one of the best relationships in TD, they're great together, and he was a lot of fun in TDI, but he turned into a kissing-Bridgette-machine and then a douche in TDA, and continued to be irrelevant in TDWT, so I wouldn't really say I love him. He doesn't seem like a contestant anymore, but that's just because I heavily associate him with the Aftermath.
#33: Bridgette - Bridgette is a fun character. I've seen her be criticized for being boring, and she really isn't that boring - sure, she's no Izzy in terms of personality, but she's got a defined personality (calm surfer girl type) and is a side character, which is good because they realized that she didn't have an interesting enough personality to revolve a season around. Hence why All-Stars is bad. But anyway, Bridgette is fun, really the only season I actually liked her a lot in was TDI, but she was an enjoyable presence there and I always liked her just a bit more than Geoff in the Aftermaths. She was the definition of filler in TDWT, and she was kinda lame, but she had an amazing song (and a shitty song, too, but I prefer to focus more on the amazing one) and some okay moments. So, yeah, just a decently fun character, nothing too special though.
#32: Dakota - My feelings about Dakota have been all over the place, really - I liked her when ROTI was first airing but then got pretty annoyed by her and was about to put her in my bottom ten for some reason. Then I rewatched the season quickly, which was a pretty good idea because I actually enjoyed Dakota... for the most part. She was actually really annoying in the first episode, mostly because her voice was at an all-time high shrillness, but then when she started interacting with Sam I actually started to love her. I think she got a great, developed plot especially when she came back as an intern. The scene where Sam asked her advice for the fashion challenge was really sweet, and it was nice to find out that she wasn't the spoiled, horrible person that she was originally presented to be. And then... her entire character was ruined. I know, I know, the "It's okay because Sam still loves her for how she is as a person!!!" argument is pretty valid, but I just don't like seeing characters transform into horrible monsters forever. Didn't like it with Zeke, and I didn't like it with Dakota. I preferred it with her because at least she could still speak English and retained her humanity (except for talking in the third person) but I just wish that wouldn't have happened, because watching Dakotazoid was kinda... really uncomfortable, actually. I kinda count them as two different characters, like I do with Ezekiel/GollumZeke, but it's still something I was pretty bummed out by. I really like Dakota a lot though, but the fact that she got so much development and then kinda just turned into a monster is something I can't exactly ignore.
#31: Duncan - Okay. I have quite a bit to say about Duncan. First of all, he's by far the hardest contestant to rank for me, because while I absolutely love two of his incarnations, I'm mixed on one, and I absolutely despise one. Let's start with the good stuff, though. Duncan in TDI was definitely one of my favorite characters ever, going into TDA I was a huge, huge Duncan fan and he was just a great character in TDI. His conflict with Harold, even though I liked Harold a lot, was really entertaining, as was his relationship with Courtney which was pretty much my OTP for a while. And just like in episodes like Dodgebrawl and Phobia Factor, seriously, he was amazing. So, in TDA, he was pretty okay, I don't remember him being too amazing or too horrible looking back, but considering I was a DuncanFantard back then, I absolutely loved him. He wasn't a bad winner, really, but I consider Beth to be the canon winner just because it makes more sense story-wise. So, after TDA, I had a very high opinion of Duncan, and he was pretty much my favorite character at that point. When he quit in TDWT I was actually pretty happy because I thought his story was pretty much wrapped up, and there were other characters I wanted to see more.
And then all hell broke loose, pretty much. After a phenomenal first half of the season, we were treated to Duncan returning and Noah being booted off. This is where Duncan turns into what I think is the only true season-ruiner in Total Drama history, not counting Mike and Zoey because they're barely even characters. But seriously, once Duncan returned, many amazing characters like Noah and Tyler were shoved off to make room for the shitty love triangle plot. I fully blame this plot on Duncan, it was a tired, obnoxious plot that didn't interest me in the slightest, and despite only being a couple episodes long, it seemed like eternity. The season just had an extremely sharp decrease in quality once Duncan returned, he took screentime away from characters who desperately needed more development, even though he had already screenhogged the entire past two seasons. He then was pretty irrelevant for his last few episodes, which made him even more pointless, and ended up making it to the final five once again, for the third time in a row. Seriously? I will never get tired of ranting about TDWT Duncan, because he's pretty much my third least favorite incarnation of anyone in TD history. Duncan actually had the nice ol' last place spot in my rankings up until All-Stars started, because he was actually great in All-Stars and somehow reverted back to his Island self. The ending of the shitty love triangle plot was definitely needed, and I actually loved his plot with the bird and his inadvertently becoming a hero. I was actually kinda sad when he was eliminated, because he was one of the only ones I was rooting for at that point, but I do feel like it was a fantastic end to his character arc. So, he was back in my good graces after All-Stars, and I would really love to put Duncan higher in my rankings, but I just can't forget how he ruined an entire season and so this is actually a fairly generous placing for him, I think. He's a good character, though, just definitely overexposed.
#30: Justin - Justin, like Beth, is another character who was the most relevant in TDA, and so once I rewatch he'll be placed higher or lower accordingly. However, I have much fonder memories of Justin than Beth. In TDI, he was pretty funny despite not talking at all, with his "talent", his cheating in The Big Sleep, and his randomly putting out the bush that was on fire. Definitely fodder, though, and I thought it was cool that he returned for the next season and got a pretty decent amount of development. Justin was the true first fail antagonist, and I remember him being an extremely lulzy antagonist and just being too wimpy and narcissistic to actually do anything. I wish he didn't just stop doing stuff right after Courtney's debut, though, but I think he was pretty good while he lasted. I also love his tambourine playing.
#29: Samey - Even though everyone thought she'd be pretty much fodder, I'm really pleasantly surprised with the Samey we actually got. I actually thought she was a sympathetic character, which was good, and I really liked the way she got rid of Amy after taking a bunch of shit from her for the first few episodes of the season. I thought their plot was executed perfectly and wrapped up very well when Amy got cannoned off the island. Although, I was kind of bummed that her plot of disguising herself as Amy only lasted for like one episode, I thought it was interesting. Like I said in Amy's write-up, I was also unsatisfied with the "resolution" of the plot and Amy returning, because everything basically just went back to the way it was and the entire plot was negated, with Amy continuing to abuse Samey and Samey hating her. So, really, that made me a little less happy about the twin plot, but I still enjoyed it a lot before that. I also really loved Samey's friendship with Jasmine, proved what an awesome character Jasmine is. The thing that most prevents me from putting Samey higher in these rankings is that she's kind of a boring character on her own and her entire character is defined by her interactions with Amy. I'm glad Amy exists at least as a foil for Samey, but without Amy, Samey would pretty much be Zoey, being "nice" and "nervous" and stuff. But I'm glad we got what we got, and I definitely like Samey/Sammy/however her name is actually spelled.
#28: Anne Maria - When I rewatched ROTI, I was VERY shocked at how much I actually liked Anne Maria. I remembered her as being a generally unlikable and boring presence who didn't really do anything fun, but I was definitely wrong. The Mutant Maggots were a very boring team, considering the main focus was on Zoke, who aren't really the most exciting characters of all time, and I thought that Anne Maria was a fun foil to them. I loved her fights with Zoey (she was maybe the one person other than Scott who disliked Zoey? I appreciate that) and honestly the mini love triangle wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered it, it was really just Anne Maria making out with Vito and Zoey throwing hissyfits. I really liked how she was abrasive to pretty much everyone, she made for a great negative presence, and even her "relationship" with Ezekiel was kind of funny. Seeing her quit at the same time Brick got out was pretty sad, but it was a good end to her story, really. Anne Maria was pretty much just a funny parody who actually worked, and I'd love to see her back sometime because her interactions with veteran contestants would be amazing.
#27: Sam - Sam was a really funny character in ROTI. I loved his deadpan sense of humor and his video game references, and I also loved his relationship with Dakota because it was seriously one of the biggest crack pairings in the show and the fact that it actually became canon is amazing. His interactions with people like Scott were really fun, too. Sam was definitely a random choice to bring back for All-Stars as opposed to someone like Harold or Owen, but I was looking forward to him because I thought it was their way of giving him more development and bringing him to the final four or something, which I was excited for. Instead, what we got was a massive, massive disappointment. (That actually kinda sums up All-Stars in general.) I don't know why the hell they brought Sam back when all he did was get hurt and then have a weird boot episode, I still like him as a character a lot but he was just not as good as I expected in AS which brings him down a bit lower than other characters who I liked less in ROTI but who improved in AS. I also love that Sam is based on Seth Rogen of all people, and his voice is amazing.
#26: Gwen - Okay, Gwen might actually be the hardest contestant to rank for me, forget what I said about Duncan. The thing about Gwen is that she was amazing in TDI, one of my favorite incarnations ever, but as the seasons went on, she gradually deteriorated, then got better in TDAS but wasn't even that great, just okay. So in TDI I thought she was awesome, with her interactions with... well, basically everyone, especially Trent and Cody. The relationship with Trent was pretty sweet, for the most part. We got an actually well-developed character out of it, and I loved that she made the finale. (I still consider Owen the canon winner for whatever reason, but hey, 2nd is fine too) In TDA she was... kinda bad, if I remember correctly, and I was sad to see Gwen and Trent break up. I didn't really mind that she was such an early out though, but in TDWT she was just really not good at all. I don't even remember her doing much other than getting pissed at Courtney/Heather/Cody, and then when Duncan returned, she really got bad. As is known, I don't like the love triangle plot, and I felt like it was slightly OOC (or at least weird) to see Gwen and Duncan in a relationship when Duncan was cheating on Courtney. I guess she was okay in All-Stars, nothing too special, but really nothing that season was too special (spoiler alert: except Scott) and she was definitely an improvement over the past few seasons. I just... I really want to like Gwen a lot, and I still appreciate her TDI form a lot, but she's just such an inconsistent character who's really susceptible to derailment and who isn't all that likable a lot of the time. I appreciate what she once was, though.
#25: Cody - Cody in TDI is potentially one of the most relatable characters for me, and so I definitely loved him. His plot with Gwen was fun, and the idea of Cody in general (nerdy, slightly perverted kid who tries to get girls) is very, very reminiscent of like 10 different ToadCharacters. I used to have Cody in my top 10, but really, the thing that brings him down for me is the second half of TDWT. He was funny as usual in the first half, with his lines like "You just have to jam the needle into my naked butt cheek" (not sure why I remembered that, but hey) but he kinda did... absolutely nothing at a certain point, and was pretty much just dragged along by Sierra. He still had funny moments, sure, but he was kind of a disappointment. Other complaints about Cody include him going from a wannabe ladies' man to just a Gwensexual, because him flirting with the other girls would've been fun to watch, and accepting Gwen liking Trent in TDI but going back to being obsessed with her in TDWT. I mean, it was also funny to see his interactions with Gwen again, but still. But overall, I don't get the hate for Cody, and he was a very funny, likable character to me in TDI and just not AS good in TDWT. But now that we're in the top 25, I love all these characters, so yay!
#24: Jo - Jo is an odd case, because despite being this incredibly serious, aggressive, no-nonsense character, she's actually really fun and enjoyable. I thought she was a great secondary villain in ROTI (pretty much better than Scott in terms of villainousness) and I loved how basically she spent the whole season yelling at people and calling them out on their bullshit. I also think that she actually improved in All-Stars, because back in ROTI I didn't think much about her, just thought she was a mildly cool character and that was about it, but her 3-episode arc was amazing and I loved her fighting over power with Heather and her conflict with Lightning. She also just had funny moments interspersed throughout the season like the makeup job, the working out naked, her random extremely rude nicknames for everyone (which were amazing), and Lightning thinking she was a guy (though that was more of a Lightning moment) so I'd say that Jo is definitely a fun character, despite being... really the complete opposite of fun in-universe.
#23: DJ - Honestly, I love DJ as a character. The idea of a huge, kinda intimidating guy who's just extremely peaceful and a huge softie is great, but sadly, DJ has always been either really UTR or kinda handled badly, which lowers my opinions of him a bit for me. In Island, he was a really nice background/UTRP presence, but was really not too big of a character the entire season and despite being incredibly likable, he wasn't one of my absolute favorites. I still remember nothing about Action, but I remember him being pretty good there, and DJ's Momma is a g.oddess and I'm glad we were introduced to her. In World Tour he was... interesting, while I liked the animal curse storyline a bit it got kinda sad near the end and I didn't like how DJ was flanderized into just a wimpy momma's boy, but I do wish he could've been a team of one a bit longer because that was a really cool plot. I loved his interactions with Lindsay and I actually didn't mind him in World Tour except for his flanderization, really. Overall, DJ has never been an important or main character, but he's nice and fun and likable, so I'm a fan of his.
#22: Dawn - Hey, remember when I despised Dawn while the first few episodes of ROTI were airing just because she was 'overrated'? Anyway, yeah, I like her now. It's no secret that I'm a massive fan of Luna Lovegood (she actually happens to be my favorite fictional character ever) and so obviously I was really excited to see that there was a TD character whose design was modeled after hers. Dawn probably has my favorite design out of any of the characters, and I feel like that was why she had such a huge surge in popularity before the show even started. I stopped hating her once ROTI ended and then I remembered her as being awesome for a while, then I rewatched ROTI and she was still awesome, yes, but... barely even present. Yeah, I like characters like Ezekiel, Noah, etc. who aren't exactly the most prominent characters either, but they all at least got some development where we know about them as people. Dawn was extremely UTR until her boot episode, which made me sad because she had a RIDICULOUS amount of potential and I hated to see them waste her as just a GenericScottVictim. Dawn ended up pretty much being the most irrelevant contestant of the season except perhaps maybe B, with their relevance being about the same as Rodney's. I think Dawn deserves a lot of the praise she gets, but I also really don't see how she can be #1 on people's ROTI cast rankings. Sure, her design is amazing and she had a lot of potential, but she was barely even a presence in the actual show, she was nice and cute, but didn't do all that much, and this is coming from someone who prefers the more neglected characters. The one thing I don't like about Dawn is her voice, it does not really fit her at all and while I know that her voice actress is really cool IRL, I wish her voice was a tiiiiny bit deeper so it didn't sound like she took in massive amounts of helium throughout her time on the show. But Dawn is definitely one of the most unique characters the show has ever had, she has a LOT to be explored with her character, I love her design, and the fact that she's similar to Luna in a couple small ways are all pluses and so I love her. I just can't put her any higher because of her overall irrelevance.
#21: Alejandro - Alejandro is a character who I've been extremely mixed on... up until TDAS. Okay, let's go through this character. In TDWT, Alejandro was definitely a Villain Stu, with his antics like randomly knowing how to speak 8225742 languages, tying his hair into a ponytail with his feet, being able to talk to pretty much every animal, somehow knowing hypnotism, and stuff like that. It was somewhat explained, though, because Alejandro was supposed to be perfect due to being in his older brother's shadow, which kinda gives him a bit more of a pass (still doesn't completely excuse his Stu-ness) than... well, Zoey. The things that prevent me from liking Alejandro a lot in TDWT include: voting out amazing characters, and... well, yeah, that's about it, actually. Al got rid of a ton of better characters and it wasn't that great seeing him waltz all the way to the end fairly unopposed, but since I consider Heather's ending canon, I think it worked out pretty well in the end. Then we got to TDAS, and I was really, REALLY glad when he got out of the Drama Machine, despite his voice devolving into that of a prepubescent girl's. I think he improved a ton in TDAS, because one, he wasn't as much of a Stu (but maybe that was because Mal took over his Villain Stu role) and two, he was actually an underdog after a while which was pretty funny to watch. His fight with Jose was also definitely a top 5 moment of the season. Probably the best moment, actually? Other than Izzy's random appearance. Coincidentally, they were both in the same episode. But whatever. He was definitely fun in TDAS, and it made me reconsider my feelings about him in TDWT, resulting in me liking him a bit more which is pretty cool. And of course, I can't neglect to mention Aleheather - it's definitely one of the best ships in the series, despite the weird amount of inconsistencies, they're really amazing characters for each other and I loved watching their dynamic, which was pretty much the only good thing about post-merge TDWT. Although, it did get a bit tiring after a while, since it was kind of the same old (and it was between two characters who were pretty screenhoggy in the first place) but I still like it. But yeah, I do like Alejandro a lot. I mean, I even have a character whose main purpose is to obsess over Al. He's a great villain, probably the second best after Heather, and I think his perfectness (perfection?) makes him a bit more interesting. I can't really forgive his overbearing Stu-ness, his screenhogging presence, and his eliminating better characters (aka Noah) in TDWT, but he is a character who I definitely like overall.
#20: Rodney - So, this one is going to need a bit of explanation, I know. I feel like Rodney is at the bottom of pretty much everyone else’s TDPI rankings, and even their overall rankings, and I can see valid reasons as to why. But I just loved his character, really. Basically, I find Rodney to be the most relatable character in all of Total Drama to me, other than Noah. While no, I’m not a buff, redheaded country boy with an extremely thick neck, I can easily sympathize with him about his girl troubles. I’m… yeah, really the same way when it comes to girls. I thought Rodney was a really sweet (and somewhat sad, honestly) character and it kind of hurt to see him lament about “breaking up” with all the girls every episode, it was a weird case because it was funny but just kinda sad at the same time. But his scene with Amy and Samey in the third episode is one of my favorite scenes of the season because of the absurdity/hilarity/over-the-top romantic music in the background. I think his character also had a lot of potential, especially if he returned for a Second Chances season or something. I wish they would have kept him in a little longer and elaborated on his troubles with girls and why he was like that (maybe they could've explained why his mom was missing?), and I also kinda wish he had found the right girl at the end. Because really, the character is definitely unique, and I was expecting him to be this deep character filled with romantic struggles but he ended up simply being a really dumb and comedic (he was actually really funny most of the time) guy who liked a lot of girls. Which is fine, I mean, I totally sympathized with him - I’m not necessarily the most observant when it comes to how girls really feel about me - so that’s just enough to put him in the top 20. Yes, Rodney is most definitely a random favorite, and I don’t think anyone else likes him even close to this much, but I just thought he was a funny, nice, entertaining, unique, and extremely relatable character who delivered as much as he could in his 4-episode stay and it’s just the personal connection that puts him this high. I have no doubt in my mind that if Rodney were to last longer and wrap up his plot by finding a girl or something, he would easily be #1 on my rankings for the Pahkitew cast and he'd probably even break the top 10 of my overall rankings. I hope he can come back in a future season because there is a LOT of potential in his character, so just like Dawn, I like him a lot, but sadly, as awesome as he was, I can’t put him any higher because everyone else just felt like they had more complete stories/plotlines/did more stuff in general.
#19: Leshawna - I really like Leshawna a lot as a character. She was very entertaining and super likable in TDI, and I loved her rivalry with people like Heather. She was definitely not a one-dimensional character, she had tons of great interactions with multiple characters, including her relationship with Harold, her conflict with Eva, her friendship with Gwen, et cetera. I just thought she was a really nice, likable, fun presence who didn't really do that much (she was pretty UTR a lot of time) but pleasant. (TDI really had a lot of those. Geoff, Leshawna, DJ, Bridgette...) She was kinda derailed throughout the next few seasons, I remember her being pretty likable in TDA but also sometimes weird and OOC, and one gripe I have about Leshawna is that I wish her relationship with Harold was a bit less confusing. They kissed when Harold was eliminated, then she rejected him, then they had an attraction or something in TDA, then Harold became ridiculously obsessed with her or something? I don't even really know what was happening at that point. She was... not good in TDWT, which was pretty much the one reason that she's this low. Her and Bridgette were prime examples of being put in there only so they could be AlejandroVictims, and her slapping Heather was kind of a continuity error since they were on better terms after TDA. But eh, whatever, she was great in TDI and is a very likable character overall, and I love how they took a negative stereotype of a black woman and actually made her traits really positive and fun and great and everything. Leshawna is just cool.
#18: Lightning - Lightning is just really a hilarious character. He's so absurd, his lines are just so weird, and he's just so overall hammy that I can't really not love him. While yes, he sometimes gets fairly grating and assholish at times (the last few episodes of ROTI where he was just a massive douche come to mind, because I don't feel like he was cut out for the antagonist role) he's still overall really funny. I kinda wish Lightning hadn't made it to the final two of ROTI, though, because while rewatching, he was pretty much just some OTT background guy, kinda MaleToadCharacter-esque, and didn't really have a plot or anything other than random funny moments, so when he was shoved into a big role it kind of felt out of place. But up until then, he was really funny, with his weird moments like the protein powder, thinking Jo was a guy, randomly being tolerant of Jo being "gay" despite being the last person you'd expect to be tolerant of something like that, being woozy after the boating challenge, teaming up with Fang, and... you get the idea. He was also amazing in TDAS, despite it being obvious that he was an early boot, he was hilarious and really delivered a lot in two episodes. He was one of the most consistent characters of the season which kind of says something. I also loved how he randomly appeared in a video message to piss off Jo. So yeah, Lightning was someone who I never really cared much about until I rewatched ROTI, then I realized he was really funny. I also kinda have to place him high-ish because of the fact that I saw Tyrone Savage, his voice actor, in a Shakespeare play in Stratford, Ontario. What a bizarre but amazing encounter.
#17: Ella - Ella is pretty much beloved among the fanbase, and I can see why. While I originally thought she'd be a one-note gag character and also fodder (well, she was fodder, but great and likable fodder) she pleasantly surprised me. She's not a character who I'd expect to like at ALL, which makes me like her even more, really. Basically, I loved how she was just so incredibly sweet to everyone, she probably rivals Brick for most heroic/nice Total Drama character. And she wasn't even one-note at all, her singing and stuff was funny, yeah, but she also had actual interactions with other characters. The thing with Dave was pretty nice, despite it seeming really brief, and of course her entirely one-sided, hilarious rivalry with Sugar. I really think that just made her a lot more balanced of a character and not just "that really nice girl who sings a lot and who animals love." Her elimination was kinda sad, but I also totally knew she'd be an early boot from the beginning. And I know everyone says this, but her elimination song was just amazing. I love that she was just trolling Chris and Sugar at that point. As for the Ella vs Dawn argument, while Dawn's design is amazing and she probably has more potential than Ella, Ella was executed almost perfectly in her short run while Dawn was pretty UTR the whole time so I have to give Ella the edge. So, definitely a great character, but she just seemed a bit minor. And I know this sounds immensely hypocritical considering people like Zeke/Noah/Izzy are still in the rankings, but I don't know, at this point I love all these characters and I need to find reasons for getting them out. Okay, Ella's great. There.
#16: Shawn - Shawn is a character who I wish more people would talk about, because despite him being the winner, I don't really see him being discussed much for some reason. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places, but whatever. Shawn was my pre-show favorite due to his amazing design and his mysteriousness, with that one confessional in the leaked storyboard being pretty much all we knew about him. Like Ella, I thought he would be extremely one-note when we learned he was some guy obsessed with the zombie apocalypse, and while it did get tiring a BIT, it was usually really fresh and funny. I loved his relationship with Jasmine, one of the best and most well-executed relationships in the series. And I also loved that Shawn was rarely with his team, he was off alone doing random, weird survivalist shit in the woods like blending in with trees and pretending to be a zombie so he wouldn't get eaten. His confessionals were also regularly hilarious, I loved how pissed off he sounded in almost every one. His voice fits him perfectly. And then there was the other stuff he did like the armpit serenade, which while ridiculously random, was amazing for some reason. I liked his storyline of going from some paranoid asshole to a more brave type, it was actual character development, and while he was a "one-joke" character, I thought Shawn was a perfect winner and he's the first winner I was truly satisfied with since World Tour. (Yeah, Heather's ending is what I consider canon.)
#15: Ezekiel - ...Okay. Here goes.
Ezekiel is an extremely complicated character to talk about, since he's changed so drastically from how he once was, but I'll try to form my thoughts on Zeke into coherent sentences. Basically, he was an irrelevant first boot in TDI, so why do you like him in that season, Toad? Well, I thought he was pretty funny in the intro episode (I'll always love the "I think I see a bird" line) and I thought he was an interesting type of character. His "sexism" was pretty much a reason for them to boot him first, and honestly, I don't really believe Zeke is sexist - he was obviously raised by farm people very traditionally and didn't really have any social interaction with anyone at all outside of his family, so he was just being brought up on his dad's beliefs. Obviously doesn't make it right, but it definitely fit his character. And considering he interacted with Lindsay and Beth in the special and even had a response in his TDWT biography saying that most of the girls were stronger than him, I don't think he deserves to have his "sexism" brought up over and over anymore, especially since people like Duncan and Chris have been sexist as hell and nobody bats an eyelash. Okay, so anyway, then we get to the Playa Des Losers episode where he's genuinely hilarious. I loved his rapper persona and his random attraction to Bridgette, that was the point where he had turned into one of my favorites. I didn't really think about him much in Action since he wasn't there, but in the Action special, that was where he just turned into a HILARIOUS character. Seriously, his lines were amazing and often really funny, and I loved how they mixed his weird lack of social skills with rap speak and trying to be cool.
...Then we get to World Tour. I was totally rooting for Ezekiel (and all of the other underdogs, really) because I wanted to see this character who we really hadn't seen much of develop more and possibly get farther than first boot. And obviously, since the writers love trolling everyone (this was back when Zeke was actually somewhat of a well-liked character and everyone didn't despise him because of... um, circumstances) he was first voted off again. But he still had some amazing moments in his short stay, such as pretty much everything he did on the plane, his AMAZING solo in Come Fly With Us, and being mistaken for a mummy. I was really happy when he held onto the wing of the plane once he was eliminated, because I figured they'd have him return or at least be brought back somehow. Well, let's just say that I learned that 'be careful what you wish for' is a very, very true cliche. Ezekiel's cameo appearances continued to make me really happy, and I loved that "Find Zeke" was a little game each episode. In London, we were introduced to this new, slightly green, disheveled-looking Zeke, and I was really bummed because Chris teased him being able to return to the game but brought fucking Duncan back instead, but I didn't really mind all that much since at least he was still there and had a line... well, kinda (he screamed in his normal voice when Chef threw him out of the plane). Okay, yeah, Zeke continued to cameo, and I was really hoping for him to do some awesome appearance in the endgame...
Yeah, all hell broke loose shortly after that. Let me just say that Gollum Zeke is my single least favorite thing the TD writers have ever done. Seriously, I dislike it more than Zoey's existence, more than Mike's handling in AS, more than Duncan returning and ruining everything, it's just... so awful. I can't even begin to explain. If you're ever in the mood for completely and utterly destroying a character, this is how you do it. Seriously, what we have now isn't Ezekiel anymore. I treat Gollum Zeke as an entirely different character, like Dakotazoid, which is why Ezekiel is so high up on my rankings. If they wanted a Gollum reference they should've realized that Gollum actually TALKS. But nope, we haven't heard Ezekiel's human voice since London, he's basically a complete animal, and I feel like it was just a way for the fandom to despise Ezekiel because the writers didn't like the popularity he was getting. So, yeah, his appearances in Africa and pretty much all the episodes after that genuinely pissed me off. I will admit that the LOTR reference in the finale was okay but it also leads me to believe that they destroyed his entire character just so they could make a pop culture reference, which kinda pisses me off too. Then he returned in ROTI and All-Stars... still as a fucking Gollum creature thing.
Seriously? After World Tour, NOBODY liked the gag, and nobody likes it now. Zeke is probably the single most hated character in the fanbase thanks to it, except for MAYBE Mike, but even he has like 7-year-olds who like him. I just genuinely despise that the writers keep bringing it up for no other reason than to make fun of him over and over, and they're like "ohh his dna is too scrambled durr hurr!". IT'S A CARTOON. Alejandro recovered from burns all over his body. Scott fully recovered from being mauled by a fucking mutant shark in like no time at all. There are somehow reset buttons inside people's brains that can cure them of disorders. Why is Ezekiel not able to recover? At least Dakota, the other destroyed character, can ACTUALLY SPEAK ENGLISH. I'm actually glad they didn't even mention him in Pahkitew because I don't like Gollum Zeke getting rubbed in my face. And why was Peter Oldring credited in TDAS? For the numerous Cody heads that appeared? That was just another case of them getting my hopes up for Human Zeke to finally reappear, and then... nothing. Seriously, keep him looking like Gollum, just let him speak, I don't care, I just want to hear Ezekiel again. I just really, really dislike the gag, and it's a slap in the face that the writers took what was once my favorite character and turned him into that. I just can't place him in my top 5 at this point (when he used to be my #1 for a short time), despite trying to treat Gollum Zeke as an entirely different character.
But overall, Ezekiel is a great character when he's actually Ezekiel, I thought he was really funny, unique, and honestly Gollum Zeke just makes me like Ezekiel even more, just as a 'fuck you' to the writers, really. Oh, and also, name bias is a VERY real thing. I'm going to be honest, Zeke would be at LEAST 10 spots lower if he didn't share a name with me. It's very rare that I see anyone in a TV show or any form of media with my name, and it's just really cool since I have a weird and unique name and it was nice to have someone to be able to root for no matter what just because we shared a name. Despite the idea being almost impossible, I still think that Zeke will at some point be turned back to normal in some way. If they decide to keep him as Gollum Zeke, I'd rather they just stopped showing him like they did in Pahkitew, but since the fan feedback has been more prevalent than ever, I still have a tiny little bit of hope. So yeah, I'm a huge Zeke fan and I just feel really sorry for all the shit that they've done to him. Great character.
#14: Harold - Harold is a character who was basically made for me to love him. First off, Napoleon Dynamite is one of my favorite movies of all time, if not my favorite, and so the fact that Harold was basically a walking homage to that movie made me happy. I think that TDI Harold is a really underrated character, people always refer to TDA Harold as the funniest of his incarnations, and while I get that because he lasted a lot longer, I also think that TDI Harold was very, very funny. His 'mad skills' in the talent show episode were a great reference to Napoleon's dancing (I think it was a reference? idk but it was funny) and then of course there's his frequent being picked on by Duncan, which was an awesome dynamic that I'm glad continued into TDA. I definitely always rooted for Harold because he was just so funny all the time, and the scenes in the late pre-merge of TDI were great. I don't even know where to start about his boot episode, that was maybe one of the best characters in their boot episode I've ever seen. The love letter to Leshawna, getting distracted by a topless Heather, and when he said "I loved, I lost... and I saw boobies"...all amazing moments. Then there's TDA, where he was obviously the star of the whole season except maybe Lindsay, but I think I liked Harold in TDA a bit more since he lasted a bit longer and was even funnier. The one thing that prevents Harold from being in my top 10 is his stint in TDWT, where he was kind of obnoxious in his boot episode and weird in the aftermaths. He was definitely funny in the premiere, though, and overall Harold is just an awesome character, I always love the nerdy types and he's just one of the more consistently entertaining and comedic characters in the series. These cuts are starting to get REALLY hard.
#13: Owen - Honestly, I've always loved Owen. Yeah, he's had his ups and downs, but he's a character who I've never really been able to hate, as weird as that sounds. In TDI, lots of people didn't really seem to like him because he just floated to a win and didn't really do anything except toilet humor, but considering I was around the age where toilet humor was the funniest thing in the world when I first watched TDI, I absolutely loved Owen and was really glad he won. I still think he was a pretty good winner, and I definitely consider him the canon winner, just because I like that he was so detached from all the strategy and drama going on and was just kind of doing his own weird stuff. He had hilarious moments like the entirety of Camp Castaways, his sleepwalking naked and swimming with salmon up a waterfall (which I still consider to probably be one of the funniest moments in TD), et cetera. And then there's his relationship with Izzy. Oh, man, what an amazing relationship. Two of my favorite characters, and they just work so well together, I was pretty bummed when they broke up in TDWT, but more on that later. So Owen in TDI was awesome and I feel like he gets too much undeserved hate, but I can also see why his humor might be unfunny to a lot of people. In TDA, lots of people hate him and I do think that his return that late into the game was pretty unnecessary, but he didn't do all that much and didn't change the outcome of the season so I didn't really get too worked up about it. Still a likable character. Then there's TDWT Owen, which is BY FAR his best incarnation. I was hoping they'd bring up more stuff than just his farting and whatnot, because even though it was pretty amusing in small doses, it was getting a bit tiresome - and they did. His fear of flying was consistently hilarious and his interactions with the rest of his team (which is my favorite TD team of all time) were just great. ESPECIALLY Noah. Noah and Owen have my favorite friendship in the series, and they just bounce off of each other and work together so perfectly that I loved every time they had any sort of conversation. It made Owen much more likable, and speaking of things that made Owen more likable... well, Oh My Izzy singlehandedly vaulted Owen back up into the "Love" category for me. Owen was just every type of character in TDWT, he was funny, sympathetic, had great interactions with others, and actually had a fun plot with Noah and Alejandro, and he was definitely at his best in that season. And then Owen's cameo in the finale of All-Stars was the best part of the entire episode, which says something about the episode's overall quality. WHY was he not brought back? Did they think we were 'tired' of seeing him? Yeah, no less tired than we were of seeing all the rest of the 1st gen contestants (except maybe Lindsay) who were all just as much of screenhogs as him, especially the Duncan/Courtney/Gwen trio. I feel like Owen being there instead of Sam would've made the season a bit better, even if he was fodder too. But the season ruined so many good characters that I'm almost glad he wasn't there. So, I've always loved Owen, his TDWT self is flawless, and he's pretty much the face of Total Drama.
Top 12: Brick, Courtney, Heather, Izzy, Jasmine, Lindsay, Max, Noah, Scarlett, Scott, Sierra, Tyler
#30: This Is How We Will End It - Insanely overrated. Al's voice sounded really weird, the subject matter was kind of boring considering it had already been focused on for many episodes beforehand, the music wasn't catchy at all, and it dragged on for way too long.
#29: I'm Sorry - Pretty boring, and it wasn't really all that emotional, later songs did the "sad song directed towards relationship partner" thing better. It was just... eh. I don't even know how to describe it but I always skip over it while listening to TDWT songs.
#28: A Chinese Lesson - This barely even counts as a song, really, because the parts were just so spread out from each other - it was fairly catchy, but also slow and not very exciting.
#27: Who You Gonna Root For? - I always forget that this song even exists. Maybe it's because I didn't watch the TDWT Aftermaths, but Harold's rap was semi-funny (saying "shawty") but other than that it was just a lackluster, forgettable song.
#26: I'm Winning This - The title, the lyrics, the music, everything is just RIDICULOUSLY generic and I don't really care about this song.
#25: Lovin' Time - I thought the song was kinda funny, and I liked Zeke's interruption at the end, but it was too short and the melody wasn't catchy enough for me to really care about it.
#24: Versus - A bit underwhelming for the final song (actually, REALLY underwhelming) and the autotune kind of sucked sometimes, but I didn't mind the melody and I liked Harold's rap. Everything else sounded choppy and weird, though.
#23: Baby - This song is... really bizarre. I'm still confused on the status of Harold and Leshawna's relationship, but it really wasn't AS horrible as people say it is.
#22: Blainerific - I thought it was pretty funny, I liked how it referenced Fergalicious and Duncan's "so so horrific" line but it was barely even a song, just kind of the characters talking to a beat. It was also completely ruined at the end with the "Who am I?" part.
#21: Rowin' Time - See Lovin' Time, but I liked the part at the very end and I liked that it was sped up a bit.
#20: Shear the Sheep - The music is okay, but I noticed that the singing is off-tempo from the beat and it's slightly faster and now I can't listen to it without noticing that, and that definitely bothers me.
#19: Save This Show - Pretty forgettable, but I don't hate it or even dislike it for some reason. The melody was interesting.
#18: Sisters - I liked Leshawna's weird dancing moves and I liked that the whole song was pretty much a fuck you to Alejandro, but eh, I'm not the biggest fan. Still not bad though.
#17: Before We Die - This one is also definitely overrated, but I like that pretty much everyone in the cast (except Zeke, sadly) is singing, it gives it a fun group feel. I liked hearing from the different contestants about what they wanted to do, although some lines were really awkward.
#16: Eine Kleine - This one should probably be way lower, with Heather's horrible "You suck the lemon chuck" line and Noah sounding like Owen for some reason, but I've always loved the melody of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik and I also liked how Lindsay remembered Tyler at the end.
#15: Gypsy Rap - Again, this one should also probably be way lower, since the actual rap part was just weird, but I LOVE the guitars and the melody at the beginning. If only it was longer and it sounded just like that the whole way through.
#14: Boyfriend Kisser - Meh. It's about the love triangle which is a very shitty plot, but the song itself was kinda catchy.
#13: I'm Gonna Make It - Extremely generic except for the bridge, which I enjoyed a lot, and I liked the whole feel of the song, just like being on an adventure and whatever.
#12: What's Not To Love - I really like this one. Good parts from all of the different teams, really catchy, and fun visuals.
#11: Stuck to a Pole - I wish it was longer, I especially like the released version where Bridgette sings normally. I thought this one was pretty fun.
#10: Greek Mix - Yes, I hate the love triangle, but minor keys are the way to my heart.
#9: Wake Up - Yeah, it's about catching Gollum Zeke who is a "character" I despise, but I thought it was really fun and definitely had an African feel to it, especially at the end with their harmonies.
#8: We Built Gwen's Face - The visuals are amazing and probably my favorite out of all the songs, which is why I'm putting it this high. The actual song... Eh, it's kinda short and doesn't sound as much like ABBA as people claim. Still good though.
#7: Condor - I thought this one was the perfect length. We got to hear CODY ACTUALLY SINGING, as well as a great part from Sierra, and of course the ending with Heather winning, which I really enjoyed. Great song.
#6: Come Fly With Us - The fact that EVERYONE sang (yeah, I'm counting Owen) is just amazing, plus it has "Come fly with us, come die with us" which is just a beautiful line. And Zeke's solo is potentially the greatest thing to exist.
#5: Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley - I love Eastern European/Russian-styled music. I also love the fact that this song's melody sounds almost exactly like one of the zekeandolive.com songs (2:22, to be exact) which was released like four years before it, and Geoff's dancing is obviously amazing too.
#4: Sea Shanty - So catchy and danceable and fun. That's really all I have to say about this one. I wish Noah sang, though.
#3: Oui, My Friends - Yeah, "Paris in the Springtime" is a shitty title so I'm calling it this. I LOVE French music, and I thought the accordions and instrumentals in this song were amazing. Owen/Noah's part in the middle is also great, of course, and I thought Sierra was especially awesome in this song.
#2: Oh My Izzy - Oh god, this song is extremely sad. I pretty much still get teary every time I listen to it, that hasn't gone away. It's just such a sweet song, really, and it made me like Owen WAY more. I think this song singlehandedly boosted him like 3 spots in my ranking. Plus it's about one of my favorite ships. Just... an amazing song, really.
#1: Strip Them Down - ...But there's no contest, this is the best song of the season. AMAZING singing parts from Noah and his incredibly deep voice, and the girls' voices also sounded great. Ridiculously catchy, the subject matter is disturbing but kind of hilarious, and great moments from everyone. This is the only song in TDWT that I actually listen to regularly.